On Friday night, after a gruelling week, the girls and I walked to the primary school a block away for the school’s annual twilight fair. We arrived after 7pm and it was still light. The place was buzzing with kids eating, climbing the play equipment, jumping on the jumping castle, playing in the ukulele band and generally making a lot of noise. The girls were excited to be going out after dark (we rarely do). They were very chatty, just as they had been a few weeks ago when we went out for the light festival after dark.
Dinner was easy: half a sausage each with sauce, a popper and cupcake covered in icing with smarty eyes and a licorice mouth. As a friend of mine said who also has young girls, the advantage of having girls who don’t eat very much is that they are very cheap to feed.
I emptied out the $20 I had in my wallet on their dinner and paying for some time in the jumping castle before they closed for the night, and we walked back home in the dark, admiring the stars.
Now that they are approaching the age of five, we are all spreading our wings out a bit more. The girls play together without our input for hours on end, which means that on weekends we can actually read the newspaper instead of spending the whole time tending to their needs. Their play involves processing the experiences around them: playing characters from Peppa Pig, enacting school or shopping scenes, or discussing Vanuatu in response to a talk last week from one of the parents about what it’s like living there, also telling them about the recent cyclone.
When discussing the prospect of another sleepover at Maggie’s house, their response is ‘oh not one night again! When can we have a sleepover at Maggie’s for two nights?’
Last week, in a significant real and symbolic development, I sold the double pram – though we still have a single stroller which we take when longer walks are envisaged, which inevitably leads to fights about whose turn it is to ride in it.
In my current job there are many mothers of twins around. I was at a meeting of five women recently, four of whom had twins. When discussing roles and responsibilities with my boss, in touching on a colleague who had recently returned from maternity leave with twins, she said to me:
– ‘I don’t want to give her too much work. She’s got twins.’
– ‘So do I,’ I said. ‘So does Bridget.’
– ‘But yours are a bit older aren’t they?,’ she replied.
I think people often believe that babies are the most work and after that phase it gets easier. I think that the challenges of every stage are influenced by how much support you have, and this partly explains why I found the toddler and preschool ages challenging, as I had less help at these times.
I have one day a week off until 3.15pm when I pick the girls up from school, and I need that time to recharge after the demands of a busy job and being responsible for two curious, busy preschoolers. They ask questions all day, there are often tears and fights (to each other: ‘you’re not my best fwiend!’ To me: ‘I won’t cuddle you in the morning!’). There are mishaps (see the post XX). They love climbing and they have their own ideas about what they want to do and when (see A few whiles ago). It’s certainly worth picking your battles. And it’s still bloody exhausting.
Exciting as it is to go away, the girls also love pottering around at home. When told that we’ll have four days at home together over Easter without preschool, they were delighted. We’ll do (and eat) some good things together. Having Steve to help during that time, I’m looking forward to it too.
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